Wishes & Choices

I was looking at pinterest yesterday and came across a quote on another Lupus board.  Sorry, I haven't learned how to copy from Pinterest to my blog yet; so I will just type it.

"Girls my age are all:  I wish I were skinnier.  I wish I was tan. I want my hair longer. I hate my teeth.  I want a newer car." ...and I'm over here like "I wish I could walk down those stairs without wanting to scream!"

That quote made me burst out into tears!  There are so many things in my life that I took for granted - my dear Mother-in-Law calls it "wishing your life away."  I would always roll my eyes whenever she said that.  Now, I know EXACTLY what she was talking about.  It is a very hard lesson to learn and sometimes wonder to myself "do I really deserve to learn that lesson in such a drastic manner?"  The answer is, No, I don't "deserve" it, it is just the hand that I was dealt.  

Don't get me wrong - I still want to be skinnier, tanner, prettier, had whiter teeth or a better car - those are things that I can improve on myself.  What I WISH is:  I could play with my grandkids without spending the next day flat on my back, hold my grandkids without hurting, take my dog for a walk without falling down, plant flowers in my garden without getting stuck on the ground, watch a movie without falling asleep, go to sleep without waking in horrible pain from muscle cramps and I miss getting on my knees to pray!

Until a cure is found for this horrible disease, I CHOOSE to live each day as it comes to me.  I will enjoy the good days and do my best to endure the bad.  I will love on my grandkids the best that I can and I will play with  them in the manner that best suits my physical ability that day.  I will love my dogs and take them for rides in the car.  I will pick out my flowers and let my husband plant them for me and then I can water and tend to them.  I will enjoy the naps I take while everyone else enjoys the movie.  I will enjoy the fact that I can pray, no matter what position my body is in.  (I will do my best to get thru the frustration of missing Dr. Phil everyday, because my internal clock has decided that is naptime).

I will choose to laugh!

Here is another quote that I found on Pinterest and it made me burst out laughing:

"Sometimes, I feel more confused than a mood ring on a paranoid, bi-polar, schizophrenic, chameleon in a bag of skittles."