James 1:2-4 2 Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, 3 for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. 4 And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.
It is soo hard to hang onto that scripture when I have a had days like today - but my faith is what keeps me going. If it wasn't for God and my family, I KNOW that I could not get through this.
I do not have insurance, but I do have an indian card. I am not able to work, but I don't qualify for assistance with Obama care. I use the Indian clinic in my town for doctor appointments. I also go to Claremore Indian Hospital for emergency issues. They do "what they can" but they do not handle pain management and they don't get funds from individual tribes to support their operations - they rely solely on federal funds. I have a growth in my mouth that needs to be removed, but Claremore will not approve a referral to a doctor to remove it. Their letter said "because it is not a life or death treatment." I have a problem with my right knee, hip and thigh - I know that there is something wrong and I need an mri or bone scan, but Claremore won't approve a referral to a doctor to treat it. Once again, their letter said "because it is not a life or death treatment."
My question is - how do they know? No one has biopsied the growth. No one has looked at my leg. How do they know?
I decided to go to Hastings hospital in Tahlequah, OK, which is the CHEROKEE hospital, supported by both federal AND tribal funds. I was told that it is a 6-18 month wait to get a primary care doctor, but I could be treated through the Urgent Care Clinic. The urgent care doctor could only talk to me about ONE issue. Hello? Lupus is from head to toe, where should I start? She ended up putting me back on Neurontin for 2 weeks and then she can put me back on Lyrica (only good thing that came out of that trip). She told me to go downstairs to the Dental Clinic to have their Oral Surgeon remove the growth in my mouth. She did NOTHING to address my leg.
I went downstairs to the Dental clinic and guess what? They don't have an oral surgeon! They would have to request that Claremore give me a referral to one. Even though I am a Cherokee - since I live in Tulsa, I have to go through Claremore for all referrals. MY OWN TRIBE WON'T HELP ME!!!!! Claremore only approves referrals for Cancer and Heart patients.
What am I supposed to do? I know that I cannot be the only Cherokee Native American stuck in this catch 22 situation. I am so depressed - I just want to give up. I don't even know how to fight anymore. I am tired and I am hurting and I am sick. I have accepted that I will have pain the rest of my life, but I don't think I should have to do it without any help or proper medical treatment; nor should anyone else.
I am hanging on by my fingernails. I want to give up, but I can't. I have to fight, I have to find a way. Someone has to hear us!