"Stand fast therefore in the liberty by which Christ has made us free, and do not be entangled again with a yoke of bondage." Galatians 5:1
I will begin this article with a quick study of the words Bondage and Yoke from the scripture above. I will start with the Webster's dictionary definitions and move on to the Strong's Concordance (King James Version) Greek meanings.
Bondage: the tenure or service of a slave. A state of being bound (usually by compulsion). A captive. Servitude or subjugation to a controlling person or force.
Strong's Concordance Greek 1397: Doo-li-ah. Slavery, to be a slave. From 1401: Doo-los. A state of subserviency.
*Subservient = less important.
Yoke: to become joined or linked to. As in, a soul tie.
Strong's Concordance Greek 2218: Zugos. Servitude as in a law or obligation. A coupling.
*Soul Tie = often the ramifications of having partners that you create a lifelong bond with thru a sexual encounter(s), but with whom you only have a short-term relationship with. The bond remains long after that relationship/encounter is over, leaving you longing for wholeness.
"soul ties between married couples draw them together like magnets, while soul ties between fornicators can draw a beaten and abused woman to the man which in the natural realm she would hate and run from, but instead she runs to him even though he doesn't lover her." [greatbiblestudy.com. Basic Introduction to Soul Ties | What a Soul Tie Is]
So many Christian (and non Christian) women do not value themselves as holy, beautiful, works of God. We tend to downplay our strengths, morals, and convictions. We give in to passion and things of this world in order to "feel" loved. We let passion override conviction; which, in turn Satan uses to condemn us in our minds.
Many, many, MANY women have been used and abused so much that we lack the simple ability to say, "no." I see my old self in so many women - looking for love in all the wrong places (yes, I totally went there, the corny song cliche'). Hanging my self-worth on the ability to catch and keep a man. I truly believed that sex equaled love and so, I freely gave it away. Only to have my heart smashed to bits over and over again. Sex only snagged them, it never set the hook. I didn't understand what self-worth or self-respect was. I didn't see myself as worthy of the love that comes from God. I couldn't grasp that there is a substantial reason that the Word says, "And those who are Christ's have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires." (Galatians 5:24)
I took two molestation situations that happened when I was young and used them to justify my behavior. I was guilt ridden, only I didn't know that at the time. In my mind, these 2 men did what they did because it felt good and they said they loved me - so, it was my fault for being lovable. I continued being "lovable" and trying to be loved.
I always thought the the only addictions that I had were cigarettes and emotional eating. I just (this very moment) realized that I had a dangerous addiction: men. By that I mean, men that were not good for or to me. Not that I am some kind of angel, or that every single moment of every relationship I have been in was horrific. But I wanted love so badly that I stuck around for anyone that gave me the time of day, no matter what time that was. No matter how badly I was treated or talked to, I stayed and eventually believed every lie that was dished out to me.
At the age of 45, I finally began to see the bondage I had put myself in by that mindset. I began searching for a love within and for myself. At the age of 46, the Lord opened a door for me to walk out of my past and into His plan for me. The plan He had prepared for me all along. I began studying myself and my life. I opened my eyes and my heart to learn His truth for and about me. I started declaring scriptures and quotes about strength and self-respect over myself on a daily basis. I didn't believe a lot of them, but I was driven by faith and hope that those promises really were for me. Slowly, I started breaking the yokes of bondage that I and others had placed on me.
Three days before my 47th birthday, God arranged an "introduction" to the man that would love, honor, and cherish me for the rest of my life. This man challenged me and everything I thought I knew about myself. He pushed me to dig deep and keep going even when I wanted to give up and forget everything I had been thru. Because I wasn't divorced yet, this guy refused to meet me in person. Even after my divorce was filed and final, he STILL refused to meet me in person. I was so frustrated. BUT GOD - was using this time to teach me 3 very important lessons: patience, loving myself, and friendship with a man (no "strings" attached). Seven months after our initial introduction, we met in person. And I have learned how to be truly loved by a man.
Have we done everything right? Of course not. Do I sometimes slip back into old thought processes and patterns? Yes. Do those soul ties still creep up on me out of the blue? Yes. Have those soul ties caused problems in our relationship? Yes. Do we keep going and keep trying and keep honoring our vows? Emphatically, YES!
"I have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer I who live but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me." Galatians 2:20