"God is not human that he should lie, not a human being, that he should change his mind. Does he speak and then not act? Does he promise and then not fulfill?" Numbers 23:19
Who hasn't been in a situation where you feel hopeless, helpless, alone, forgotten, and afraid? I admit it; I have been there more times than I care to say. Why?
The way I see it, there are only 2 possibilities to answer that question:
1. You dug yourself into a rut, didn't listen to advice, didn't heed the warnings, thought you could do a 2 man job "on your own." I have done all of the above.
2. You are following the call of God and trials come, "tests" if you will. Because God called you, the devil also heard that call and sent his own messengers to trip you up.
#2 is where I find myself at this very moment. I heard the call and I answered. The "powers" of this world met me at the door. Every road block, discouraging spirit, spirit of sickness, spirit of vileness, want, division, oppression, and loneliness has bombarded me at every turn.
Was coming here a mistake? Did I/we misunderstand His instructions? Did we veer off the path? Do I regret answering the call? ABSOLUTELY NOT!
Have we made mistakes? Yes, of course we have! We are "rookie" missionaries - mistakes are part of the journey. Some of those mistakes have been our own doing, and others...well, I am not sure how to explain. I can only say this, Satan is a crafty devil and those spirits he sends to attack you - physically, spiritually and financially are very good at their job.
Suffice it to say, I am struggling. Does my faith waiver? Sometimes. I ask Him a lot of questions. Do I get answers? Sometimes. What do I do when He doesn't answer? I wait. Is waiting hard? Am I tempted to jump up and make my own strides? ABSOLUTELY! What do I do? I make myself buckle down. I spend a LOT of time in the Word and prayer. I search for answers and .... I wait.
Why? Why do I wait? Why would I wait on God who doesn't always answer? God, who allowed these spirits and trials to attack me? That my friends, is the easiest question in all of this.
I wait because of a Hebrew name I found in the Strong's Concordnace:
Yachal El-Elohim: to wait upon the Lord. Yachal (yaw-kell): wait, be patient, to hope, to cause to hope, stay, tarry, to cause to trust and to wait.
I wait because I know that He sent me here. I wait because I know He will bless me (Hebrews 3:14 & Galatians 6:9). I wait because I know that my time is not the same as His time (Habakkuk 3:14). I wait because I know that He is my provider, protector and my Saviour (Isaiah 43:2). I wait because "my HOPE is in the Lord." (See my article entitled "My Hope Explained"). I wait because Romans 5:1-2 is a promise I stand on, "Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we gained all access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverence; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us."
You see? I wait because no matter how much satan throws at me - no matter how much he whispers doubts into my ears - my faith suddenly quits waivering and rises up in me (1 Peter 4:12-13). It floods through my veins. That minute little mustard seed in my heart, swells to the size of an oak tree within me and I cannot back down.
I wait because the Lord will never leave me or forsake me. I am His child, His princess, His heir to the kingdom.
No matter how hungry, tired, stretched, broken, broke, or sick I have ever been - I am not alone. He is close to the broken hearted - all I have to do is cry out to Him, He will pick me up and see me through.
If you are in a situation right this moment that you are feeling lost, hopeless, alone, and forgotten - pray! Cry out to God. Pour yourself into His Word. Give it to him, believe and hope in Him and then, give yourself a new name: Yachal El Elohim.
