I read an awesome quote on facebook the other day. It said - "At my lowest: God is my Hope. At my weakest: God is my Strength. At my saddest: God is my Comforter."
How awesome is that?!?!? It's so true! God is our EVERYTHING - our problem is that we don't "let" him be our everything. I know that I am so guilty of freaking out, losing my cool, letting go of hope, throwing ginormous pity parties, and a myriad of other knee-jerk reactions to obstacles in my life and concerning my health. I get myself so worked up that I can't even appreciate the baby steps that are being made. I just let go of Jesus and wallow in self pity and hopelessness. (I said I wasn't going to do that anymore)
I worked myself up so bad last week that I was ready to quit! I wasn't going to go back to the doctor, I wasn't going to take my medicine. I was just DONE. I didn't care and I didn't care that my family DID care. I told myself that I was just going to bed and staying there till it was over. I wished myself dead.
What an idiot!
I did go to bed and I cried myself to sleep. My faith foundered, a little, but it was still there. Once I became quiet, God showed me (thru my dreams) that I have to keep fighting. I have a family that loves me. I have grandkids that need me and I adore. I can still have a life and I still DO have a life. I have plans and goals that I have not yet achieved.
God has a plan for my life. I don't yet know what that is, exactly, but I know that he has one. I know this because he said so...
Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
So how can I stop holding on? He is my hope and he promised me a future!
I know that I will still have my down times and that I will probably still have pity parties, but I will hold onto the Hope, Strength and Comfort that my God supplies to me every single day of my life.