"as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us." Psalm 103:12
No matter what you have done, no matter what anyone says. Once you became a Christian, your slate was wiped clean. And any sin you have committed since then is forgiven the minute you ask for forgiveness.
I am not offering a "free ticket" to sin here. What I am saying is that once you become a Christian, you are a new creation. And that new person inside of you does not "want" to sin and so when your flesh wins and you make a mistake; your new heart will convict you to ask forgiveness.And once you ask, He forgives. His word says that He throws it "as far as the east is to the west." And God is not a man that He should lie, so when He forgives you, it is done, over, no more, FORGOTTEN. I was raised being told that He throws our sins into the sea of forgetfulness.
I know when you make mistakes that it is easy to wallow in it and feel unworthy to ask for forgiveness. I also know that others are watching and the minute they see you slip, they are right there to condemn you. And then there are those people that won't allow you to forget your mistakes.
There was a time about 9 years ago that my daughter made a terrible decision. When she came to her senses, she repented to God, her dad, myself, and the person she hurt. A few months went by; one day I received a call from her, she was distraught and needing advice and asking for prayer. The person she hurt was not accepting her apology (he claimed he did), but his actions and words every single day told her otherwise. She understood that because she had hurt this person, it would take time (maybe weeks, months and hopefully not years) to earn back the trust she had broken. But this person was refusing to let her. All he would do is tell her on a daily basis how wrong she was, how bad she was and would re-hash the scenario every single evening until she was broken and in tears and feeling condemned.
Even though I knew the answer; I asked her four questions:
1. Are you truly Sorry?
2. Did you pray for forgiveness?
3. Do you believe God forgives you?
4. Will you do it again?
"Yes, I am so sorry. Yes, I prayed and yes He forgave me and No, I will NEVER do it again! I don't know how to explain how sorry I am."
I told her, "then that is ALL you can do." You ask for forgiveness and then you let your actions prove your words. Just because you ask forgiveness does not mean the other person is obligated to forgive you or that there are no consequences for the actions.
Rebuilding and earning trust does NOT mean you are belittled, berated and condemned! It means you work TOGETHER to resolve the issue, not wallow in it. How long does that take? I wish I could tell you, it takes as long as it takes or until you come to the conclusion that you have gone as far as you can on your part and the other person still can't get past it (as was my daughter's case). But remember this, just as I told her - "God forgave you, God threw it in the sea of forgetfulness. Now how dare ANYONE use it as a weapon, including you!"
God convicts, satan condemns. We are children of the most high God, we are forgiven.
"Don't judge me by my past. I don't live there anymore." - author unknown
