I am so tired and I am so tired of being tired. I know that I am not the only Lupie that feels this way - but it is a very lonely feeling. I just want to curl up in my bed and sleep (for days). I know that it is because I have had a very physical week and my body is telling me that it is done, but I have another day to go and I have to do it.
Why? Why does 3 days of physical activity have to leave me feeling this way? Why can't I just have my life back? It's very easy to fall into a deep pit of despair and self pity. I know! I have spent almost 5 years in that pit. I don't want to be there ever again. If you are feeling tired, sad, depressed (suicidal), shear pain, like there is no way out - I am telling you that there is still a life to be had. Maybe not the life that you dreamed of, or the life you were used to, but there is still a life for you.
I have decided to take a different approach to days like today: I will allow myself a brief period of time to throw a pity party, but then I will pray, I will get up, get dressed, put on my face, fix my hair and finally I will laugh! I have figured out that when I laugh, I feel soooo much better! Even if it is only for a minute - that minute makes my whole day!
There are a million and one ways to find something to laugh about - here is a partial list of what has worked for me so far: find a sitcom on tv, google "humorous quotes", find a stand up comedy routine on YouTube, take a silly "selfie"and text it to someone, find a book that is nothing but pure sillyness and laugh out loud while reading it, call a friend or family member and talk about silly things you did when you were kids, if you have grandkids - they are always a barrel of laughs, and of course, my dogs do something that at least makes me smile every single day.
Don't take yourself too seriously - that causes stress. I did not say "don't take your disease seriously!" This disease is a serious issue - but when you never smile or laugh - you will get sicker! Take time out to laugh, even at yourself. I have quite a few symptoms that I laugh about, maybe not every time, but at least some of the time. There have been times that my legs gave way from under me and I fall flat on my face; it's pretty funny when the only ones around are my dogs and they are looking at me like "cool game, I wanna play!" It's funny because, I am not in pain - I am just stuck face down on the floor with a pile of dogs on my back.
I love to laugh and no matter what this disease throws at me - I have always loved to laugh and I always will!
"I called my pain meds to say that they were supposed to be stopping my pain. They said that they liked that joke too."
Hebrews 4:16 is of great comfort on tired and painful days. It says "Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and grace to help us in our time of need."
Approach the throne with CONFIDENCE - meaning, pray KNOWING that you will receive mercy and grace! Go boldly to the throne, claim what you need and believe that you receive!